Friday, May 29, 2009


No! Not that stupid television show! (Ok Kev likes it but I'm writing this post so I get to call it stupid)

Lately I am feeling lost... in the sense of what did I do before I started school? Really for the last year I have either been working 75+ hours a week or going to school and studying. This summer however I only have one job, and no school. I come home in the evenings and have no homework, and am not totally exhausted from a long day) Kev's joke is the house is cleaner now. It just feels strange not having that to do.

I think Kev is going to go through this same thing soon. He will have school 3 mornings a week. period. no work (atleast right away), no call, just school and of course HOMEWORK.

I predict that between the two of us we will be going stir crazy very very soon.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The one about organ donation

May 20th, 2003 is a day I will never forget. If you remember (or not if you are new don't worry it'll be posted in a sec) last year I posted about my valve replacement from a different aspect which you can read here: (literally here b/c I don't know how to link back to it)

Five years ago today something life changing took place. No we didn't start dating, and we didn't get engaged today (Please we had only been dating 3 months!!!) The 3 months part is very important though. I had to have my aortic valve replaced. While that is HUGE to go through, the most awesome part... Kevin.I had a lot of thought about what would happen after only 3 months. He was such a wonderful trooper and really helped me through so much. There are many of our family and friends that were there as well. I think the day that Kevin drove me home Sunday May 25th I knew he was the one for me and I was the one for him. Just the simple way he took care of me, and was there on all of his days off just taking care of me, and when the inevitable post surgery breakdown came, he was there. Today is the anniversary of a week long of moments that made me realize just how much I loved Kevin. I believe it was the 23rd when I told him. One part that I don't even know if he knows I know (he will now I guess) The day after surgery he stopped by my mom's work and was very concerned if I was going to be okay, which after a little white lie and a lot of conivincing they finally let him see me the night before which was not exactly my best night. I am glad that he was able to talk to her and that she was able to comfort him.Kevin is one of the greatest people I have ever met and I love him with all my heart, stitches and all! I am glad that Adam invited, okay forced him to come to the party I was hosting for a friend, it definitely changed my life forever.

This year though I am going to talk about donation. Now I'm not going to preach to you or cite a bunch of articles and sites that you should read or even force you to change your mind. If you wanna be selfish, you go right ahead. I am going to tell you how it changed my life directly.

In August of 2001 I had a physical for work and was found to have a murmur, which was new. My primary care doctor had never heard it before and could definitely hear it then. He sent me for an echo where I was found to have a "small aortic leak" that was going be "no big deal" until I was much older. My cardiologist told me to simply have an echo every other year and not to worry. So fast forward to December of 2002. I am working in surgery and feeling not quite right. I black out for a second and then eventually pass out where I don't remember getting from one spot to the other. I'd been noticing that it was getting harder to run and I was super tired but didn't think entirely too much about it.

After passing out I make a visit to a new cardiologist, as my original one moved away. Turned out to be a good thing once he read my history and what not he felt I needed a little more investigation. He was thinking I was having arrhytmias though. So a couple of tests later proved that theory wrong. While I was getting one of the tests attached they were trialing a new echo machine and had no patients so since it was almost time for mine they went ahead and did it early. This is the beginning of the end...

They found a very large leak in my aortic valve (all of my other valves leak as well, just not as bad) that needed to be confirmed by a transesophageal echo (TEE) which was awful! Once confirmed they scheduled a cardiac cath and took measurements and found that not only was I feeling they symptoms my heart was starting to show some as well. I was referred to a surgeon and went to his office to discuss my options.

Now if you know anyone else with an aortic valve replacement they probably have a mechanical or bovine valve. These however are not good options for young patients and so I was going to need a human valve.

My surgery was scheduled within two weeks of this appointment... note just 5 months after having symptoms. I suppose I was lucky they were able to find a valve that was about the same age as me and the same size. I suppose that donor wasn't so lucky. I only know that the donor was young when he died and he had a wonderful family who donated his organs and tissue.

Many people think that if their organs aren't "up to par" or they have a certain disease or are receiving meds they cannot donate. This is not the case. Donated tissue is used in many many ways, one of them... heart valves.

My family and then boyfriend (now husband of 4 wonderful years) all became donors shortly after my surgery. I am grateful for that. I am also a donor even though no one would ever be able to use my live heart, part of it may help someone else. Just becoming a donor is not enough, you have to tell your family as they will be the ones making the decision. It could save lives, I know it saved mine.

I know I only have tissue, not living organs which require antirejection drugs. I had an immediate need but didn't have to wait like many people on the lists. It could be a lot worse for me and it is a lot worse for others. If you are not organ donor just take the time to consider it, it could save many lives. That is all I ask on this anniversary of my gift of life, which greatly improved my quality of life.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

6hrs in jail

I tried to think of a good made up story to try and tell everyone about. But really couldn't think of anything funny enough or believable. So I'll just say I was there delivering 13 beds on a capital delivery. I didn't get hit on or become anybody's man or lady. That's the whole story nothing really interesting. Just liked the headline for twitter. My whole head has been spinning with ideas and freaking songs. For the first time in a long time I've been happy for awhile. So expect alot of crazy happy from me. My first meal out of the joint was bacon cheese burger really good. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


In about one week I will be starting my EMT classes. In three weeks quitting my job of three years. I never had a plan in life. I've always just coasted through life falling into the right job at the right time and making the most out of it, but never really liking it. This is something I really think that I will be good at and enjoy, but now I think I'm more scared than ever cause I know what I want and I'm afraid of failing. Being the true brother that I have he tells me that its going to be hard to pass the class and it may be even harder finding a job. I've already said that I would move if I had to still staying in the Texas Panhandle moving possibly somewhere between fifty to hundred miles away. So now its a waiting game. I know I made the right choice its just hard to imagine if I do have to move and Shelly can't be with me. My head is spinning with so many possibilities. The chapter with Hill-Rom is coming to a close a new chapter begins and for the first time I don't know whats going to happen. I have had a minor slip up on my no smoking quest. I bought a pack of cigarettes on Thursday on a really bad day. It was a mistake that I know now I could have done without. A moment of weakness that I can't take back. I will continue my pursuit and try to control my emotions as that was what got me into trouble this last time. That's all I have to say.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Another semester closer

As this semester ends on a very high note there is so much stuff that I have learned, and experienced... some are way more pleasant than others.

I have spent 8 weeks in clinicals, doing care plans that took upwards of 6 to 8 hours and sometimes (a lil shorter if I was lucky). I took care of 10 pts. for anywhere from 3 hours to 6 hours. Some were much more pleasant experiences than others. Like the time I had a scizophrenic patient who would chat one minute and be on the defense the next. The diarrhea of 2 of my patients (try keeping a straight face on that!). Administering medications, and shots (need one, I can help). Putting in a foley, and taking IVs out. That first smell of warm prune juice (GAG!) The patients who were super nice, even if not all there. The one that was almost unarousable (SCARY). An overbearing family who made me RUN my head off. But, all in all it has been a rollercoaster of an experience of clinicals this semester. I certainly have learned a lot.

Classes, boy they were hard, they don't joke when they say Nursing school aint for the weak! I did end up with A's in both of my classes though (one just by the skin of teeth) and so no stressing over finals.

I have made quite a few new friends and I'm really enjoying getting to know them and going through this together.

I am glad for the experiences that come with nursing school, but I'm also ready to graduate already LoL! December 2010 here I come!

Sunday, May 3, 2009


Well I guess I owe everyone a blog as I had promised many days ago. This one is titled "blessed" because a comment I had made on twitter and promised to elaborate in a blog later that day and just turned into days. For that I am sorry. Well the main reasons I'm feeling blessed is family. My family close and far has always been very supportive of me. I have the perfect parents for me. They never made me feel dumb for a dumb decision I ever made. I made it hard for myself very early in life and they supported every decision I made. Like the one that led me to meet my future wife in moving to the east coast. Now I move to a place I've only been to once to a family I hardly knew and didn't know what to expect. They took me in without any questions and not really very many demands. That really stayed with me over the years as I have helped with family in any way that I can. I gotta a chance to pay it forward or back which I really was happy to do. After five years on the east coast I decided to bring the wife to Amarillo. I got to reconnect with a brother I honestly didn't know. He changed his whole life and now is pushing his big brother into being the person that he deserves to be. I know I know its a bunch stuff and not a whole lot of detail maybe or maybe its just jumbled up but I guess the feeling that I am feeling is like I said blessed to have surrounded myself with those that inspire and push me to be the best individual I can be whether its a fireman or a janitor. I think to many times I take that for granted and just been thinking about that kind of stuff lately.