Changes

In about one week I will be starting my EMT classes. In three weeks quitting my job of three years. I never had a plan in life. I've always just coasted through life falling into the right job at the right time and making the most out of it, but never really liking it. This is something I really think that I will be good at and enjoy, but now I think I'm more scared than ever cause I know what I want and I'm afraid of failing. Being the true brother that I have he tells me that its going to be hard to pass the class and it may be even harder finding a job. I've already said that I would move if I had to still staying in the Texas Panhandle moving possibly somewhere between fifty to hundred miles away. So now its a waiting game. I know I made the right choice its just hard to imagine if I do have to move and Shelly can't be with me. My head is spinning with so many possibilities. The chapter with Hill-Rom is coming to a close a new chapter begins and for the first time I don't know whats going to happen. I have had a minor slip up on my no smoking quest. I bought a pack of cigarettes on Thursday on a really bad day. It was a mistake that I know now I could have done without. A moment of weakness that I can't take back. I will continue my pursuit and try to control my emotions as that was what got me into trouble this last time. That's all I have to say.

Another semester closer

As this semester ends on a very high note there is so much stuff that I have learned, and experienced... some are way more pleasant than others.

I have spent 8 weeks in clinicals, doing care plans that took upwards of 6 to 8 hours and sometimes (a lil shorter if I was lucky). I took care of 10 pts. for anywhere from 3 hours to 6 hours. Some were much more pleasant experiences than others. Like the time I had a scizophrenic patient who would chat one minute and be on the defense the next. The diarrhea of 2 of my patients (try keeping a straight face on that!). Administering medications, and shots (need one, I can help). Putting in a foley, and taking IVs out. That first smell of warm prune juice (GAG!) The patients who were super nice, even if not all there. The one that was almost unarousable (SCARY). An overbearing family who made me RUN my head off. But, all in all it has been a rollercoaster of an experience of clinicals this semester. I certainly have learned a lot.

Classes, boy they were hard, they don't joke when they say Nursing school aint for the weak! I did end up with A's in both of my classes though (one just by the skin of teeth) and so no stressing over finals.

I have made quite a few new friends and I'm really enjoying getting to know them and going through this together.

I am glad for the experiences that come with nursing school, but I'm also ready to graduate already LoL! December 2010 here I come!

Blessed?

Well I guess I owe everyone a blog as I had promised many days ago. This one is titled "blessed" because a comment I had made on twitter and promised to elaborate in a blog later that day and just turned into days. For that I am sorry. Well the main reasons I'm feeling blessed is family. My family close and far has always been very supportive of me. I have the perfect parents for me. They never made me feel dumb for a dumb decision I ever made. I made it hard for myself very early in life and they supported every decision I made. Like the one that led me to meet my future wife in moving to the east coast. Now I move to a place I've only been to once to a family I hardly knew and didn't know what to expect. They took me in without any questions and not really very many demands. That really stayed with me over the years as I have helped with family in any way that I can. I gotta a chance to pay it forward or back which I really was happy to do. After five years on the east coast I decided to bring the wife to Amarillo. I got to reconnect with a brother I honestly didn't know. He changed his whole life and now is pushing his big brother into being the person that he deserves to be. I know I know its a bunch stuff and not a whole lot of detail maybe or maybe its just jumbled up but I guess the feeling that I am feeling is like I said blessed to have surrounded myself with those that inspire and push me to be the best individual I can be whether its a fireman or a janitor. I think to many times I take that for granted and just been thinking about that kind of stuff lately.

Kev promised this post.... instead he went to the lake....

So this is a post that Kev was supposed to write oh I don't know a day or two ago. You see I was going to update and he was like no no I want to do it.... So I agreed... Well guess who is spending a long weekend at the lake totally unplugged and relaxing. *Jealous* can ya tell?

Life is good. Kevin is starting school this summer, quitting smoking, and changing jobs, that is a lot of change/stress at one time. His mind should be racing with things to come and what if's and what now? It doesn't seem the case. He is happy lately, not that he wasn't happy, but it's more obvious now, and he's fun, and sillier than I have seen him in a long time. He hasn't been happy with his job in quite some time and it's stressing him out. It hasn't really been feasible with me in school for him to change jobs unless he was going to make the same amount of money which is not the easiest task in this economy. After a little push and a little help we are going to be able to put kev in school this summer. My job fell into place with about the same pay and hours and letting me do more. Kev will be starting his EMT basic class on May 18th. He isn't sure if this will be his forte' but knows it is a means to the end of his dream of becoming a firefighter. I am proud of him for taking this step and glad it could be worked out.

Kev is doing great not smoking, it's like he never smoked, his temperment (which can be made worse by quitting smoking) has been calmer, and he's not flown off the handle once :) For that I am also proud. I've never made Kev feel like he *had* to quit because it's something he had to decide for himself and I'm not sure if it's the realization he has to get into better shape for firefighter school, or because the hospital tests for smoking and does not hire smokers, for himself/us, or because he figured if someone else who could hold themselves accountable to it on twitter so could he. I'm not sure the exact reason why... but I'll take it :)

Kev left this evening for the lakehouse and will be there until sunday. I on the other hand still have school tomorrow, and work this weekend so well you know.

I'm not entirely sure if these are the reasons that Kev is feeling blessed, he'll have to tell you if there is more, but I know I am blessed to have Kev in my life, and unbelievably proud of him for following his dream.

History is changing

I am a huge history buff. Ever since I was young I loved to learn of the different wars that America and Texas has been thru and the revolutionary points in history that define a nation and people. I can remember studying the World Wars and thinking is there ever going to be a defining point in my lifetime. And then Sept. 11th happened, Katrina, the recession or depression and now I wish it was the good ole days. Did you know that Texas is the only state that can secede from the states whenever they want, our flag is the only one that can fly as high as the U.S. flag and we're the second largest state. I tell you this because last night as me and the misses were going to bed we had watched the news and there was a report that stated "Texas to Secede". Now being that it was news of course they made it seem as if it was going to happen but the truth is the Governor had expressed his discontent for the way the president has been running the country and of course some of the crowd had said secede. He didn't really shoot down the notion but didn't endorse it either. It strikes me odd though I've lived in Texas for over half my life and times have been tough before but maybe not this bad but never has anything like this been said. I wonder if its possible that this can actually happen.

Pro's: Texas has alot of the major resources meaning we wouldn't have to worry about expediting and bringing in outside food or oil. We have already been on our own before we know how to handle ourselves. The whole state itself isn't in as much debt as others we didn't take the handout that Obama was giving the other states. We have our own army so we can defend ourselves.

Con's: Dividing a nation in the worst time. Its completely unamerican. Would I be a U.S. citizen as I was born in VA or adopted into the Texas Nation? Will I need a passport to see my in-laws and extended family?

I don't really support this act. Its not in the works but the mere fact that they are talking about it makes me think that its more of a possibility than I ever thought. My how things have changed. I voted the president I picked didn't win. I don't support everything O'bama does. But I won't denounce my nation because of a president there will definitely have to be more of a reasoning than that. Besides he'll only be there for like 8 years. I welcome all opinions and thoughts.

Oh yeah here is the local news website that first shared this story. http://myhighplains.com/content/fulltext/?cid=51302

What a Hailish Day

Ok so on my way back from dropping my boss off in Lubbock I was on my home and of course ran into some bad weather. Now I never pull over and wait on any weather activity to pass but this was a rare occasion. When you can't see but 10 to 20 feet in front of you because of the hail that's pretty bad. I pulled over for about 15 min. then continued on as I was ready to get home. Not the safest decision I made but o-well it was worth it. Watching the news tonight they said that, that was over 2-3 inches of hail on the ground for that area. Its like Christmas in April. I'm happy that we have such a diverse weather system here it can be sunny here and crazy tornado weather 30-40 miles away. Well goodnight all. I have much more to blog about tomorrow.

Pressure

You know those people that put incredible pressure on themselves to do well and when you are talking to them and they are upset over a grade/job/skill whatever that you think really? they are upset with that?

Well I am becoming one of those people... I don't like it.

Today I had a test that I really wanted an a on but I didn't get it, but I still got a good grade and I was so bummed out about it! When I was telling my friend about it I felt ridiculous, and she told me as much (much nicer though). Through this I realize that I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I do better under less pressure.

**Edited to add: With questions being thrown out I ended up with an A. **

Speaking of pressure I just read a twitter from the local news about a shooting not too far from here... the police are there and unable to find anything.... and shortly after reading that I have lost all cell service through my whole house... uh... remember that whole my husband is out of town thing!? Talk about freaked out.....